The Peculiarity of Partiality Toward Particular Sins

In an effort to fight off jet lag, I've found myself having more time to read (though I should be reading more than I have been lately, given the amount of time I have). It's amazing how reading (that is, actually reading substantive material) can create a paradigm shift within the confines of the human mind, which perhaps will make its way to the heart. Well, little did I know that I would have that experience just a few minutes ago; and I'd like to share it with you.

I'm currently reading Of the Mortification of Sin in Believers by John Owen, and these are the words I read:

"You set yourself with all diligence and earnestness to mortify such a lust or sin; what is the reason of it? It disquiets you, it has taken away your peace, it fills your heart with sorrow and trouble and fear; you have no rest because of it. Yea, but friend, you have neglected prayer or reading; you have been vain and loose in your conversation in other things, that have not been of the same nature with that lust wherewith you are perplexed. These are no less sins and evils than those under which you groan. Jesus Christ bled for them also. Why do you not set yourself against them also? If you hate sin as sin, every evil way, you would be no less watchful against everything that grieves and disquiets the Spirit of God, than against that which grieves and disquiets your own soul. It is evident that you contend against sin merely because of your own trouble by it."

Yes, the quote is long. Like really long. Your English teacher probably taught you to never cite a quote this long, when writing a dissertation. But I had to include it all to exhaust the full meaning behind this set of convicting prose.

For every genuine believer, there seems to be one or two particular sins that really convict our souls. Our response to this is we often try to fight these particular sins (mostly by our own will, which will never work). Yet the revealing of this motivation is what pierces me: we fight this sin because it makes us feel uncomfortable. There is a partiality involved. It is a selfish motivation. The reality of the situation is, we would not attempt to mortify this sin if it did not convict us. Perhaps this is an accurate illustration of a sinner trying to mortify sin: we are so sinful that we don't weigh sins the same (i.e., we don't look at sin as sin). Without realizing it, we have become the judge of what holiness looks like. We say to ourselves, "Gee, if I could get rid of this sin, I would be more holy," or "I am not as holy as I ought to be because of this sin." Isn't that what we say in discipleship settings or accountability meetings? We're quick to mention the sins that keep us up at night, yet neglect to mention the sins we could sleep with; and I'm not talking about sins that aren't revealed to us.

"Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God." - 2 Cor. 7:1

The admonition is to cleanse from all sin, not just the ones that eat at our well-being. In this section of his book, John Owen proposed that, "Without sincerity and diligence in a universality of obedience, there is no mortification of any one perplexing lust to be obtained." That's it: obedience is universal, not particular. It's hypocrisy to magnify certain sins and not others. It doesn't live up to our statement regarding how God is just to punish any one sin, and thus punish the individual.

My hope in at least my own life, is not to be negligent in being watchful of the "other" sins in my life. My convictions in certain sins will always be there, but I cannot expect even those to be relieved if the others aren't. God's standard was, is, and always will be holiness. I have and will profess that my desire is to be holy. Yet, tonight I have realized that all this time, my desire was to be "comfortable" in my relationship with God, not holy. As difficult as it may be to define holiness, this is what holiness is not: Holiness is not the eradication of sins that make us feel uncomfortable.